May 23, 2010 Posted by Mancow Muller at 8:00 AM - Link to this entry | E-Mail this entry Out, damn spot! Out, damn spot! Where did my baldness come from? The same thing on which I blame my deafness: years of wearing headphones? Well, my grandfather is a cue ball (Not literally, mind you. Billiard balls don't reproduce). I stopped taking all medications five years ago because I didn't want my future children to be "special" in a bad way. Zoysia--like my baldness--creeps onward. I don't see it unless I take my wife's handmirror and juxtapose it just right to view its hideous reflection. Female hair all-over was the rage when I used to sneak a peek at my other brother's magazines with innocuous names like Club, High Society, and Oui. The Brazilians ruined all that though. The Devil's evolutionists tell us bald men will be the rage in 4010, which is. of little help to me circa right now. Some do-gooder asked me to shave my head so the hair could be used to soak up oil in the Gulf. My ego wouldn't allow me to admit I don't have enough to soak up the oil in a single car garage. I was getting up from the altar at my church after kneeling in prayer and some heathen had the chutzpah to comment, "nice bald spot". That effrontery was compounded by its lack of originality and my vulnerable nature at that time. I also couldn't think of a proper comeback beyond, "Oh yeah?" until I reached the car. I've made a career of slamming everybody and yet--when it's me--well, it's just not right!!